beep

your mindspace is the only thing you can truly own. it is actual space, territory, sovereign land with a populace, government, natural resources, creatures and trees.

many of us are living on mindspace reservations -- as permanent or part-time residents. we left our sacred mindspaces--our spiritual edens--long ago, though we may not remember. while we were gone, our mindspace was sold to the highest--sometimes the lowest--bidder. a fence was built. trespassers will be prosecuted.

for the past year, my neighbor's home security system has emitted a loud BEEP every 45 seconds. at first, the noise was unbearable. i would get into my mindspace--writing, reading, being--and then this beep would send my internal decibel soundbar skyrocketing at regular intervals.

the beep made my heart beat faster -- the combined affect of simmering rage that my neighbors could be so inconsiderate and apparently deaf -- and a desperate struggle to constantly regain the integrity of my mindspace.

BEEP like a fork in my toaster

BEEP like pine needles pricking my skull

BEEP my heart dilated with cartoon flames in the background, a knife through the top, a crown at the hilt. rage.

so much for security. i'd welcome any axe-murdering serial killer in for tea and a manicure before i'd agree to rig up my homespace with such insipid interruption. but it wasn't my security that this thing squeaked about every 45 seconds. it was theirs. my corner of the house remained utterly insecure--no safer than a portly calf in a field of ravenous wolves.

so many feverish nights, black paper chains of profane promises to render that security system useless with a flaming molotov cocktail through the kitchen nook window with a nasty note..so many dreams punctuated with subsconsciously explained BEEPS ...that might have taken a more melodious course sans BEEP?

one verdant summer's day, i had the audacity to ask one of my neighbors if the BEEP was something she planned to stop in the near future -- also a test to see just how much she valued her life.

oh, there's nothing we can do about it.

i bought it. i shuffled back to my cave and buried all hope of having a silent homeland, or of creating a no-fly-zone over my precious mindspace. instead of fighting for my right to think and breathe without an audial version of chinese water torture, i moved out of my mindspace and settled on a mindspace reservation.

this mindspace reservation had a list of rules. if something bothers you, there's something wrong with you. be tolerant.

if you can't think, stop trying. chances are you're paranoid and thinking in ape-like loops -- swinging from one branch to another until the bough breaks.

if you ask a question and get an answer that doesn't make sense, you've come to the right place -- this mindspace reservation. no further questions.

when i asked her if the BEEP could be remedied and she said no, why didn't that strike a chord in my Department of Ridiculous and Unacceptable Answers to Very Simple Questions? of course there was something that could be done. but i didn't press it. why? i'm not afraid to make waves, i believe in direct conversation and open communication. but i just took this answer and told myself to stop being so sensitive. deal with it. every. 45. seconds.

months later, i had a guest. within minutes of entering my homespace, he asked how i managed to live with that insufferable beeping. i realized, then, that i had forfeited my mindspace integrity -- my ability to access my mindspace, to prevent invasion, guard against intruders, and expel pollutants.

i called the "home security" company. yes, hello. my neighbors have exactly one hour to live unless you can tell put a swift and permanent end to the BEEP.

after some diplomatic words about the level of frustration i had experienced thanks to the BEEP, this very helpful agent explained that the BEEPing was caused by a lack of signal being sent from the keypad to the security center since 2010. all this time: the beeping, the swearing, the praying for hellfire to melt that hateful keypad into oblivion...how could they be so obsessed with security, but unable to recognize an obvious malfunction?

i called the neighbors.

once it could be proved that the beep was not a sign that the safety box was doing its job but rather, a symbol of dangerous vulnerability, i got results. the beep stopped the very next day.

homespace security -- much like homeLAND security -- generally takes precedence over mindspace integrity. how often do we forfeit mindspace integrity for the appearance of security, for the constant illusion of being safe? if more of us had access to our mindspace, would the need for illusive physical security be exposed as the malfunctioning annoyance that it is?

why did i resign myself to living on a mindspace reservation for months? maybe i identified with the importance of physical security (though apparently not my own) and the fact that most people believe that preventing home invasion is more important than preventing mindspace invasion. maybe mindspace is a foreign concept entirely. maybe mindspace is a dark and haunted forest for some people, or their exiled status hasn't even occurred to them.

some people have identified the value of mindspace and found ways to commodify or control it. they are hoping that most people will never ask for their mindspace back and that they will continue to live on mindspace reservations, forget where they came from, lose their compass, and become lost. and they'll agree to do it in exchange for what looks like physical security.

the beep reminded me: your neighbors, like most people, value symbolic physical security AND believe they are not safe without it. this belief is strong enough to make people pay for a sense of security and live with an incessant beep.

i imagine that for my neighbors, the beep was far from annoying -- it was an anodyne promise of safety from the threat of intruders. each beep inspired a knowing smile, ahhh....i am safe. carry on.

homespace is a portal for mindspace. when it came under attack by tech-challenged neighbors, i didn't defend. i sold to the lowest bidder, packed a toothbrush and surrendered.

never again.

pay attention to the things that prevent you from accessing your mindspace. it's the only vestige of personal property or true value on earth, the only thing you can truly own or cultivate. it is incredibly valuable -- a vibrant human mindspace is a pre-requisite for coup d'etats, revolutions, renaissance, sistine chapels, cures, concertos, macchu picchus and moon landings. it is hard to control millions of high octane human mindspaces. much easier to corral them into mindspace reservations.

build a moat around your mindspace. fill it with ferocious crocodiles, loch ness monsters, fanged mermaids. it's yours and it's not for sale. visit it often.

shut out the noise. every word, headline, and squawking lunatic on CNN. every advertisement that disrupts your flow, every flashing billboard, every pop-up, every ding! from your phone or gchat is like a barrel of nuclear waste burying itself in your mindspace. dig it up, return to sender.

have we decided that mindspace pollution -- like CO2 and other noxious particles -- is unavoidable? even if we keep it out of our own backyard, will we always be downwind of the exiled minds who do not know they are living in an arid wasteland, the ones who either can't hear the beep anymore, or who need to hear it in order to feel safe?