secret ops

we were standing in a hangar, where a helicopter was about to launch indoors. you had been chosen to lead a mission, secret ops, with one other man. i had also been selected to go along as a spy, someone to extrapolate information, find weaknesses, snuff out the enemy. you didn't know i was there until the prop started to turn. when you saw me, i had just looked down and noticed that on the day of the mission launch, i had forgotten to wear shoes. but somehow i had remembered to pack a pair of yours -- old hiking shoes you had retired and then lent to me once, socks too. too big, dusty, burrs in the laces, they would have to do. hopefully this wouldn't involve a lot of running away from the enemy, i thought. you saw me tying the shoes, and i couldn't tell what upset you more -- that i was wearing your shoes or that i had been chosen to go on the same mission.

once we arrived, we were on a deserted college campus. somewhere, someone was hiding, lying in wait. my job was unclear, and i could hardly walk. you seemed to know what you were doing, you had a gun and the other guy listened to you. i wanted to talk to you, ask you what exactly i was supposed to be doing, make sure it was alright if i borrowed your shoes, tell you i was scared.  but i couldn't.

we found ourselves inside a church. gunfire outside. i realized that it was my job to go out and discover the identity of the enemy, but you grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me in the eye: you can't go out there.

why not?

because they'll kill you.

and that would bother you?

stay here, i'll go instead. get up on the roof.

i watched you disappear into the hedge. i could only see leaves, the dark rubber green and lime yellow undersides of leaves.

majestic

when lights fail,

remain in place

until lights resume.

die

stairs

you were standing at the top of the stairs, the ceiling was low and geometric -- you had to turn your head to the side in order to fit in the door frame. a red light was shining on your face, you seemed to gaze at me. i couldn't see the source of the red light behind me, but when it hit your face it turned lemonade pink. you were young, as i remember you, plush and perspiring.

stay with me.

you know i can't.

i felt summoned -- a wistful invitation -- like biting into a hot peach, like melted butter surrendering on toast.

you look like the devil.

i smiled and turned my head to match yours.

you said something under your breath, people rushed up and down the stairs between us -- on their way to the stage -- makeup bright and feathers flying.

ride

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